


A Afternoon In - Regina, A Disney Movie, and a Whole Lot of Snark

by Adm_Hawthorne



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-06
Updated: 2013-05-06
Packaged: 2017-12-10 15:02:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/787365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adm_Hawthorne/pseuds/Adm_Hawthorne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emma and Henry sucker Regina into watching a Disney movie. Snaking and fluffy. Swan Queen/ SQ Family time follows. One-Shot. Established Swan Queen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Afternoon In - Regina, A Disney Movie, and a Whole Lot of Snark

**Author's Note:**

> On Sunday (May 5, 2013) the amazing women who RPs as Regina Mills on tumbler ( .com) decided to live blog as Regina while she watched Disney's Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Let me tell you, this woman gets into Regina's head better, I think, than the writers do at times. She's got a talent for it that is really astonishing. (You should follow her on tumblr. Totally worth it!)
> 
> So, when I found out she was doing this live blogging event, I made sure to be there. I was not disappointed. It was a riot. Afterwards, I had to write a fic based on it.
> 
> ADMHAWTHORNE:  
> OOC: There is nothing I want to do more than to take your live blogging and turn it into a fic. In fact, I have a SQ fic that would work perfectly for that. (Of course, I'd never without absolute permission given.) LOL God, you are STUPID good at being in character. I bow to you greatness.
> 
> Askyourqueen:  
> OOC: Go for it!
> 
> I'm so honored she said yes, and I can't even express how excited I am to have permission to use her words in my story. I hope everyone enjoys this. I sure as heck enjoyed writing it!
> 
> Disclaimer and such: Established Swan Queen. Characters aren't mine. They belong to ABC, Disney, and other assorted entities of importance. I gain nothing from writing these stories but the fun of doing it. Please don't sue me.

"What are you doing?" Partly curious and partly annoyed, Regina Mills sauntered into her den to see Emma Swan and their son piled onto the sofa with a bowl of popcorn and a couple of drinks on the coffee table before them. "We were supposed to go to Granny's for lunch today, or have you both forgotten?"

"Hi, Mom," Henry gave a little grin as he shifted to find a new comfy spot on one end of the sofa. "Emma and I are doing a Disney movie marathon!" He pointed to a stack of DVDs sitting beside the TV. "Want to join us?"

The sheriff gave a sheepish look to her girlfriend. "I…uh, I didn't forget about Granny's, but the kid and I started talking this morning about Disney, and I realized he'd never seen any of the movies, so I figured it'd be fun to go through a few them." Scrunching up her nose, she added lightly, "The next one up is  _Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs_." A wicked grin crept across her face. "You know you want to watch it."

"No." The brunette's voice was flat with just a hint of disgust. "I most certainly  _do not_  want to watch  _that_ movie, and, honestly, I don't know why either of you want to watch these movies, either." She strolled over to the pile of movie boxes and ran through a few of the titles. " _Beauty and the Beast_ ,  _Mulan, Sleeping Beauty, Peter Pan_ ,  _Pinocchio_." Rolling her eyes, she gave a little disgusted snort. "I would think that, by now, you'd have had enough of fairytales, Ms. Swan."

Emma glared at her, but, before she could respond with a retort of her own, Henry stepped in. "Come on, Mom," he chastised, though he shared his blonde mother's earlier wicked grin, "it'll be fun! Besides, I'm kind of curious to know what you think about it." He gave her his best puppy dog eyes.

Following their son's train of thought, Emma added with enthusiasm, "Yeah! Aren't you the least bit curious how the rest of the world sees you and everyone else in this town?" She scooted over and gave the cushions between her and Henry a little pat. "Watch the movie with us, and, afterward, we'll go to Granny's and have a late lunch." She gave her best pouty face. "How can you pass up family bonding time with us?"

"Yeah, Mom?" Henry chimed in. "Family bonding time!"

Regina narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms as she stared down at the two in their comfortable clothing and matching pouting faces. Giving a sigh of defeat, she huffed, "Oh, alright, fine. Let me go change into something more comfortable, and," she glanced at the cover of the DVD they were about to watch, "grab a bottle of wine."

Henry gave a little frown at the last of his mother's comments, but Emma only chuckled. "I'll grab your wine. You go change, and then we'll start the movie." She stood up and kissed Regina on the cheek. "Thank you for being a good sport."

"You both owe me," was the only response the older woman gave before heading back up the stairs.

* * *

They all settled back onto the sofa. Emma angled herself in the corner between the sofa's back and arm so she could both see the screen well and allow Regina to recline against her. The older woman took full advantage and snuggled up against the blonde while making sure to leave enough room for their son to curl up on the other end of the sofa.

Once settled, Henry happily hit the play button on the remote, and the movie started.

As the animated film flashed to a wary Snow White who was dressed in rags, Emma could feel Regina stiffen. She couldn't help but needle the other woman a bit. "God, Regina, I knew you hated Mary Margaret, but really?" The sheriff's voice was full of mock seriousness.

The older woman grunted. "I already resent this movie. I dressed Snow in rags? I was vain? I'm two minutes into this movie, and I'm already disgusted." Regina gave a little shake of her head, "And these clothes... I hope that both of you know I have better fashion sense than whatever this queen is wearing. I assure you my gowns were immaculate, fashionable, and formidable."

"I've always wondered about that," Henry commented around a mouthful of popcorn. "I mean, I know what my book shows you wearing, but was that really what you wore? It was different there, right? The clothing, I mean."

"Yes," his older mother replied with a dreamy sigh. "You were allowed to give more flare to your fashion choices without the possibility of the backlash one finds in this world."

"In other words," Emma added, "there was a lot more cleavage."

"Ewww," their son made a face. "Come on, Emma! I  _did not_  need that mental picture."

"I don't know whether to be offended by you," Regina glared at her son, "or annoyed at what you just said," she twister her arm to poke the younger woman in the side.

The blonde laughed. "You love me."

Giving a quick look back to the screen, Regina rolled her eyes and changed the subject. "Oh, look. Snow White surrounded by birds and singing to herself." She gave a dark chuckle. "That's accurate."

"And weird." Emma shook her head. "I still have a hard time with the fact Mary Margaret can talk to birds."

Henry shrugged. "It's kind of cool, though. The other day, I saw Grams talking to a blue jay." He tilted his head in thought. "Actually, yeah, now that I think about it, it  _is_  a little weird."

Having tuned out the conversation, Regina found herself focused on the scene between Prince Charming and Snow White. She visibly gagged a little. "God," she grumbled more to herself than as a comment to her companions, "how are Charming and Snow already this nauseating so early in the film? No wonder the queen is trying to kill you," she talked at the screen. "This singing is enough to send anyone over the edge."

Emma and Henry looked at each other over Regina's head and smirked, trying desperately to hold in their laughter even as the brunette continued to comment at the television screen. "More talking to birds." Regina pulled her wine glass to her lips and quickly realized it was empty. "I need more wine."

Without a word, Henry moved to the coffee table to pick the bottle up. He handed it to Emma, who filled Regina's glass, before handing it back to their son to return the bottle to the table.

They sat for a time and watched the movie quietly until Regina burst out, yelling with frustration and fury, "I AM NOT, NOR HAVE I EVER BEEN, JEALOUS OF SNOW WHITE." Glaring at the screen with a disgusted face, she breathed out a heavy sigh of disgust. "God, I can't believe this bull…"

"Regina," Emma cut in to stop the older woman from starting what was sounding like the beginning of a long, curse filled rant.

Their son turned wide, surprised eyes to his normally controlled, proper, and coolheaded brunette mother. "You know, we can… we can stop watching this. I mean, it's okay, Mom. I don't mind."

Regina took another sip of her wine. "No," she said in a low, deadly voice. "We're watching this. You two wanted to see what I thought of this poor excuse for a movie, and now you shall."

Henry gave a fleeting look of concern to his blonde mother, who returned it with a concerned look of her own. "Okay," he said in an almost too quiet voice for the lightheartedness that had started this adventure, "but I just wanted you to know it was okay if you wanted to stop watching it."

"Thank you," the older woman said with a shake of her head. Her eyes were glued to the screen, and she seemed to be thinking of something else entirely from the current conversation. "All this Snow does is scream in terror and fall to the ground," she muttered in disgust. "They really got that one wrong, didn't they?" She took another sip of her wine. "I have to at least give credit where credit is due. Snow was and never has been helpless."

"I can't believe you just said that." The surprise in Emma's voice echoed on her face. "You think Mary Margaret is competent?"

"No," Regina said as she leaned forward to place the empty glass on the coffee table and grab a handful of popcorn. " _Mary Margaret_  was an imbecile who lacked a spine." She shrugged. "Well,  _before_  you broke my curse, she was.  _Snow White_ , who, technically, Mary Margaret is now – in spirit if not in actuality – has always been intelligent, compassionate, and very able minded and bodied." She crunched down on a few pieces of popcorn. "As an adversary, Snow has always been worthy of the chase."

"It's creepy whenever you start talking about Grams and Gramps like that." Henry gave a little shiver. "Sometimes I forget…" His voice trailed off, leaving them all in an awkward silence.

Trying to resolve the tension in the room, Emma asked with a bit of a forced lightness to her voice, "What do you think about Snow White's voice?"

Regina rolled her eyes, and her face was filled with loathing. "I would have jumped off of a cliff if I had to listen to this voice every day until she ran away."

Henry chuckled. "At least the real Snow White doesn't burst into songs every five minutes. How bad would that be?" He was trying to lighten the mood he'd accidentally created. "Grams can't sing at all."

Letting out a frustrated groan, Regina tried, and failed, to hold back the disdain in her voice as the animated Snow White bustled across the screen. "MORE TALKING TO BIRDS? Snow, we really need to get you help for this. Friends, perhaps?"

Despite herself, Emma chuckled. " _Did_ she have any friends growing up? I've wondered about that."

The older woman glanced down at her hands as she carefully answered, "When you grow up in a castle as part of the royal family," her frown deepened at thoughts and memories she would likely never share, "you don't really have the opportunity to acquire many friends your own age," she took in a deep breath, "or any other age, for that matter." She released it a long blow of air.

"That seems kind of lonely," Henry commented, his own frown pulling his features down into a little scowl.

"Yes," his older mother agreed in a voice that made her sound a bit hollow, slightly empty. "Be very thankful that you live here, little prince."

Henry gave her a surprised look at the moniker. "But… but I'm not a prince." His voice held a lilt of uncertainty.

"No more than Emma is a princess, I suppose," Regina sighed, her shoulders dropping a touch from the rigid position they had been in for most of the movie.

Wrapping her arms around Regina's waist, Emma set her chin on the other woman's shoulders. "We don't have to keep doing this."

The words went unheard by the other woman, who was intently watching the screen. Her face shut down and eyes went back to some other place and time. "That cottage reminds me of what Daniel and I wanted. Something just like that." Then, just as quickly, she came back to the present. With a roll of her eyes and a disgusted snort, she mocked the animated version of her arch nemesis. "When someone isn't home, that doesn't mean you go in and make yourself at home." She pursed her lips in annoyance. "So it seems they also got Snow's manners correct."

Emma's face twitched. Glancing to her son, she said in a carefully neutral voice, "Henry, when we see your grandparents again, I think it might be best if we  _don't_  talk about this."

He gave a slow nod of agreement. "We'll tell them we watched  _101 Dalmatians_."

"I always  _have_  liked Pongo," Regina added in. "I've was a touch disappointed that the curse didn't give him to me as opposed to the bug."

"So," her son's eyes began to sparkle, "does that mean we can get a dog?"

Both women answered in unison, "No."

They all turned back to the movie in time to see Snow White, the intruder, asking the animals about the children she thought must live alone in the house she'd invaded. "Maybe they have no mother," Regina mocked in a low volume voice. "Always concerned about people's mothers."

"Let's not go there." Emma's voice was a little tired. "It's only been a couple of years since we worked through all of that."

Regina huffed but let it go as the movie played on. They watched the introduction of the dwarfs with looks of amusement on their faces, and, after a scene that showed exactly how competent they were as a group, Regina let out a low, rumbling, almost evil chuckle that seemed to echo through the room. "These dwarf," she said as the eerie echo died down. "Oh my."

Henry and Emma looked at each other. Henry shifted uncomfortably on the sofa while Emma made a slightly pained face.

Meanwhile, on the screen, the seven small men sang and made their way home, much to Regina's amusement. "Home from work we go?" She chuckled. "More like, 'To the tavern from work we go."

The younger woman awkwardly cleared her throat. "Hey kid?" He glanced at her. "We probably shouldn't tell Leroy and the gang about this either." He nodded in silent agreement.

Oblivious to their conversation, Regina ridiculed the story, pointing a finger and nodding mockingly, "Yes, Snow, by all means make yourself comfortable in a stranger's bed. There's absolutely  _nothing_  wrong with that  _at all_."

Their son sighed and rolled his eyes, much as his brunette mother had done throughout the movie. "Come on, Mom, did you really have to go there?"

"Aw, jeez, Regina," Emma groaned. "That  _is_  a version of my mother you're talking about."

The older woman shrugged, a mischievous grin on her face. They watched for a few moments as the dwarfs happily went about their business, but the quiet movie watching only lasted for a short time before Regina was again commenting on what was being portrayed on screen. "Oh God, what idiots the dwarfs are. In fact, everyone seems to be dumbed down, which for the Two Idiots, is a feat to accomplish."

"Again with the 'two idiots' comments. I thought we agreed to stop calling them that after our last session with Archie?" Emma scowled down at the other woman. "We're supposed to be trying to get along better, remember?"

"Fine." Regina scoffed. Giving a little hum of thought, she said in bemusement. "Well alright, the birds screwing with the dwarfs is slightly amusing. With all their genius combined, they think a ghost lit a fire and cleaned their home." She shook her head. "You deserved that."

"Who deserved what now?" Emma blinked, clearly confused.

Henry answered for his mother. "The dwarfs deserved to be scared by the birds because the dwarfs are being stupid."

"Idiots, dear," Regina correct.

"Yeah, right, idiots." He shrugged. "Which they kind of are most of the time." He winced and quickly clarified. "In this movie, I mean."

The brunette snorted in amusement at her son's accidental slipup. It was times like these that highlighted how much he was both hers and Emma's child. Though he tried to be good, he did carry around his older mother's sarcastic wit, and Regina loved it when it shown through.

Tilting her head to the side in consideration, Regina commented dryly, "Snow sleeps ...oddly. I shouldn't even comment on the awkward sounds she makes when she stretches."

Emma winced. "Please don't."

This time both Henry and Regina chuckled. "You know," the older woman said with a small amount of approval. "The only thing Grumpy is missing here is his booze."

"It's probably stashed in his beard," Henry returned in that same dry wit tone. "I'm pretty sure he keeps a bottle of whiskey stashed there in case of 'emergencies'."

Regina raised an eyebrow. "Such as?"

Henry shrugged. "Waking up?"

Regina snickered. Emma, however, shot her son a disapproving look. "Henry," her voice was harsh, "Leroy is a friend of the family."

He shrugged. "He also smells like whiskey most of the time." He gave his older mother a look that screamed, 'back me up here'.

"It's not Henry's fault that Leroy prescribes to Kesha's idea of toothpaste, dear," Regina said in support of her son.

"Don't tell me," the blonde groaned. "He brushes his teeth with a bottle of Jack?"

Regina simply chuckled in reply. On the screen, the animated Snow White exclaimed, "You're little men! And you can talk!"

At which, Regina burst into mocking laughter. "Snow assuming that the dwarfs were all incompetent is the highlight of this movie so far." A moment later, the dwarfs had agreed to allow Snow to stay in their home, and Regina was back to commenting on her animated enemy's behavior. "Of course living with seven men sounds perfect to Snow."

Emma poked the other woman in the ribs. "What did I  _just_ say? That  _is a version of my mother_ you're talking about. Could you spare me the innuendo filled comments, please?"

"I make no promises," was the only reply she received.

Snow White demanded the dwarfs wash up for dinner, and six of the seven happily went outside to the water trough to do so. The watchers quickly learn the dwarfs had no idea how to wash. One complained the water is cold while the other commented with horror, "The water's wet!"

"Well," Regina sighed as she leaned forward for another handful of popcorn, "I guess Snow was right to assume the dwarfs were all idiots."

"I thought we already decided that?" Henry reached over to pilfer a few kernels of popcorn from his mother's hand.

"Some things bear repeating," she replied while narrowing her eyes at his little theft. "A montage of the dwarfs trying to learn actual hygiene. Why am I not surprised?"

"I'm thinking," Emma said as she swiped the rest of the popcorn from Regina's hand, "that the stench of that house had to be worse than the smell of Henry's sneakers after he comes home from PE. I mean, if you think about it, that means those seven guys haven't bathed like ever, and they work in the mines."

Henry groaned. "Ewwwww."

Regina made a little gagging sound. "Thank you, Ms. Swan, for that mental smell of the night."

Emma grinned. "No problem. It's what I'm here for."

"It's taking six men to get Grumpy to even bathe." Regina raised her eyebrows, clearly amused by her next statement, "And two bars of soap to get the stench of booze out of his beard."

Henry chuckled. Emma gave a disapproving scowl.

They all grew silent as the queen appeared on screen. Henry and Emma's eyes flicked between the queen on screen and the one sitting with them on the sofa. As the one on screen began to combine ingredients to create the apple that would put Snow White into a deep sleep, Regina's face grew more and more disgusted.

"Tell me this queen is not doing what I think she's doing." She narrowed her eyes and set her jaw. "Mummy dust? A scream of fright? What the hell sort of magic is this?" She ran her tongue along the inside of teeth as she watched the scene play out. "If that's what it took to transform, you could all forget it. There's not a chance I'd bother with something so ridiculous."

She covered her face with her hand, unable and not really wanting to watch the animated version of herself practicing magic. "This is so embarrassing for me. I can't believe that this is how magic - and I - am portrayed." She uncovered her face and looked back to Emma. "Is this what people think I actually do when I practice magic?"

The younger woman's jaw opened and closed a few times as she tried to answer. "I… well… honestly?" At the intense look the other woman gave her, she grimaced. "I never really thought about it when I was a kid. Fairytales were never my thing, and, now that I know magic is real and I've seen you practice it, I know that's not how it's done. But you have to keep in mind that this world doesn't know any better."

"I used to," Henry quietly admitted. "When I first got my book, I used to think that you were a lot like that." He pointed to the screen. "I know that's not true anymore. But does it matter what people that aren't in Storybrooke think about how magic works? I mean, isn't it better if they don't know?"

"You're probably right, Henry," Regina replied in an annoyed tone, "but still…"

They once again fell into silence as they watched Snow and the dwarfs dance away the night. As some played instruments, others sang, and most all of them danced, they watched on in silent amusement.

It was Emma who broke the silence when she began to laugh hysterically. Her companions gave her a inquisitive look and waited until she could breathe enough to answer their silent question. "Oh my god," she said between chuckles, "Can you imagine  _our_  dwarfs trying to sing and dance like that?"

Regina smirked, "I would pay good money to see Grumpy yodel."

They chuckled as the scene dragged on.

In an almost too serious voice, Henry asked, "Mom, what  _do_  you think of how Disney showed you so far?"

She grunted. "I am less than amused. Good Lord," she gave him a slightly disappointed look, as if to say she was sad he had ever thought she was anything like her animated counterpart, "I do not sit around cackling while I make potions."

"She  _does_  cackle, though," Emma added with a smirk. "I saw her doing it the other day when she was making stew." The blonde's eyes sparkled with mischief. "She was  _totally_ cackling over her cauldron… erm…  _pot_  while she was stirring the stew."

The older woman sneered. "I was not! Honestly, Emma…"

Their son smiled broadly at the easy camaraderie between his two mothers. "Don't worry, Mom. I don't believe her."

"Thank you, Henry," his older mother gave him an adoring smile. She sighed heavily as she watched the antics on the screen. "I am having a hard time not getting sick at this montage of Snow pining for Charming by singing about meeting him again." Leaning forward, practically yelled at the screen, "YOU SAW HIM FOR TEN SECONDS THROUGH A WINDOW!"

Henry chuckled. Regina leaned back against the younger woman, and crossed her arms adding curtly, "At least their real counterparts had history. Though it  _is_  sickly sweet no matter the story."

The younger woman snorted. "Not impressed, are we?"

"So far," the brunette matter-of-factly replied, "I'm most impressed with Grumpy for hating Snow White almost as much as I do."

"Mom," it was Henry's turn to chastise the older woman. "Archie said we're not supposed to…"

"I  _know_ , Henry," she snapped back. "I'm sorry," she corrected her tone to something gentler. "I'll try to refrain." She rolled her eyes and uncrossed her arms. Her animated self again appeared on the screen, and she recoiled from the sight. "Is this what people think of me? That I honestly tracked down Snow White to give her an apple because I wanted to be the prettiest in all the land? I'm still having a hard time with this." She put a hand to her forehead and rubbed at her temple.

"If it makes you feel any better," Emma whispered in the brunette's ear just loudly enough for only the other woman to hear, "I actually  _do_ think you're prettier than Mary Margaret."

Regina gave a side glance to the woman behind her. "Considering she's your mother, dear, I'm not sure that's actually a compliment."

"What? Come on, of course it is!" The blonde sounded hurt at the comment, though she was smiling. "You know all kids think their moms are the prettiest women alive. Right, Henry?"

"What?" Henry pulled his attention away from the movie. "What are you two talking about?"

"I'm just saying that your mom is prettier than Mary Margaret, and Regina says that me saying that isn't a compliment because, you know, Mary Margaret  _is_ my mother. So I said that all kids think their moms are the pretties women they know. Right?" Emma gave him a probing look. "What do you think? Do you think your mom is pretty?"

He gave them a deer-in-headlights look as his eyes flicked back and forth between two very expectant faces. "Uh," he stuttered, "I think that my mom is  _very_ pretty," he answered as neutrally as he could.

"Prettier than Snow White?" Emma pressed.

"I… well," Henry squirmed. "I think that," he grunted and flinched. "Mom always says that everyone has their own kind of beauty and what matters is how a person acts. She says that it's the intent that matters." He gave Regina an unsure look. "Right, Mom?"

The older woman looked proudly upon her son. "Yes, Henry, that's absolutely correct."

The blonde grunted and gave an overly dramatic sigh. "Fine. Whatever, you two are no fun." She glanced back to the television. "What is Snow White doing?"

"It would seem," Regina answered coolly, "That Snow starts her day by kissing all seven men."

"Man,  _what_ do I keep saying about innuendo regarding my mother?" Emma poked the other woman in the side, which elicited absolutely no response. "Stop. It."

"If you'll recall," Regina replied with a smirk, "I told you I made no promises. Oh look," she pointed at the screen to pull the attention off of her, "The last thing Grumpy told Snow was not to let anyone in the house.  _Let's see if she listens, shall we_?"

"My money's on no," Henry said just before throwing a piece of popcorn in the air and catching it in his mouth.

"Hey kid," Emma pointed to her mouth. "Hit me."

He grinned and, before Regina could protest, had tossed the kernel at his blonde mother's mouth only to miss and have it land on his older mother's face.

"Try that again," Regina said as she picked the piece of popcorn from her face and flicked it onto the coffee table's top, "And both of you will regret it."

Both mother and son replied back with a regretful, guilty sounding 'sorry'.

The movie played on, and they were once again graced with the presence of the animated evil queen as she made her way to the dwarfs' cottage in the woods. From her resting place against Emma, Regina complained about the obvious ridiculousness of the queen's situation. "I assure you that I  _never_  would have walked all the way from my castle to the dwarf's cottage." She gestured toward the screen with one hand. "This queen is using magic in all the wrong ways."

"Hey, Mom," Henry's voice held a curious note, "What  _is_ it like to be able to transport? Can you transport anywhere, or is there, like, only a certain distance you can go? And, when you disappear in a puff of smoke, does the smoke blind you for a couple of seconds when you get to where you're going, or can you see through it?"

"It's exhausting," Regina honestly replied. "All magic comes with a price, and the price for magic that transports you from one place to another is depletion of your physical energy. The stronger, healthier, and more energetic you are, the further you can travel, but I could never transport from here to Florida, for example. I just don't have that kind of energy, even  _if_  this world had magic everywhere."

"I always wondered why you didn't transport everywhere as opposed to walking," Emma said in a thoughtful tone.

"And now you know." The older woman sighed. Narrowing her eyes at the television screen, she protested, "More singing about Charming? God."

"I'm pretty sure Mary Margaret has never thought this much about David," the blonde said, her own voice starting to show her annoyance with the movie. "She's really independent. This chick is, like, the very definition of codependent."

Regina raised an eyebrow and smirked. "I'm surprised that you know the…"

"Finish that sentence and sleep alone for the rest of the week," Emma warned.

Another exasperated sigh escaped from Regina. "You're no fun." She shrugged. "Oh look, Snow apparently only listens to her birds when they're singing about Charming, and not warning her about a poisoned apple." She rolled her eyes. "….and the queen is in the house. Good job, Snow."

"Please tell me my mother was never this naïve," Emma quietly begged.

"No, not in the slightest," the other woman reassured. "My God," she began to laugh hysterically, the sound turning into something slightly mocking, "Did you hear that? 'This apple will make your wishes and dreams come true." She swiped a finger across the corner of her eye to sweep away a tear of humor. "Say what you want, at least  _I_  told Snow exactly why she was eating that apple."

"Wait a minute," Emma cut in. "She  _knew,_  and she still ate it?"

Regina gave an all too nonchalant shrug. "She really didn't have much of a choice."

"Emma, you read my book," Henry said as he pulled his attention away from the screen. "You know she did."

"Well, I  _might_ have skimmed over a few pages," the blonde reluctantly admitted.

Ignoring them both, Regina's eyes were glued to the screen as her counterpart, still in disguise, took off to try to escape the dwarfs and various woodland creatures attempting to chase her down. "Why is the queen running through the forest?!" Unable to hold her temper back at the clearly idiotic nature of her animated self, she had begun to yell at the screen. " _MAGIC. USE MAGIC._ " The other two watched with expressions somewhere between amused and slightly frightened as she continued to yell. "WHY DID YOU CLIMB UP A CLIFF, YOU FOOL?" She leaned forward, away from Emma's embrace. Eyes narrowed, jaw tense, she had begun to breathe heavily as she watched the final moments of the queen play out. "…and now I'm dead and being eaten by vultures." She threw a hand up in the air in a gesture of pure frustration. Grunting and crossing her arms she allowed Emma to pull her back into her reclined position, though she didn't uncross her arms. Grumbling, she added bitterly, "Which I'm sure no one would mind, but really? Vultures?" She rolled her eyes.

Henry turned to completely face his mothers. His eyes were a little sad, and his voice felt heavy. "I don't like that." His frown pulled his little eyebrows down to crinkle his forehead. "Why would they kill her like that? I thought Disney was supposed to be for families? Why would something for families let people be killed?" He shook his head in the negative. "I don't want that." He began to look near panicked. "I don't want anyone to get killed."

"Hey," Emma's voice was soft and reassuring, "It's only a movie. No one's going to die, okay? This is real life, and, in real life, you know your mom is well protected."

"That's right, Henry," Regina's voice was equally gently and assuring, "I have my white knight to protect me. Remember?"

He mutely nodded as he blinked rapidly.

The blonde gave him a warm smile. "I promise you that no one's hurting anyone. Okay, kid?"

"Yeah, okay," he responded much too quietly for the liking of either of his mothers.

Regina readjusted her position against Emma and opened her arms to offer their son an embrace if he wanted it. He quickly accepted the unspoken offer, crawling across the sofa and curling into his brunette mother's welcoming arms.

"You know," Emma said as she tried to lighten the mood, "I think it'd be hilarious if furry little critters followed Mary Margaret around like they do in this movie. Hey, Regina, is there a spell or something you could do to make that happen?"

"Possibly," the other woman answered while she gently stroked their son's hair. "I'd have to look into it." She finally pulled her attention back to the screen and muttered, "Of course every woodland creature in the forest would mourn the death of Snow White."

"Wait, I thought she was under a sleeping curse, not dead," Henry said, the panic somewhat returning to his voice.

"She is, but they don't know that," Regina tried to calm him. "Remember? Idiots?"

"Oh yeah," he nodded. "Right."

"Oh for the love of," the brunette huffed, "Prince Charming: kissing women you think are dead for decades now."

The younger woman leaned down and whispered in Regina's ear, "If you make a necrophilia joke about my father…"

The other woman waved her off with a gesture of her hand while she watched the ending unfold. In her best sarcastic tone, she commented, "Cue: you found me, did you ever doubt it, blah, blah, blah." She made a mocking, gagging sound in the back of her throat. "And Snow abandons the seven men who kept vigil over her in favor of life in a castle.  _That_  doesn't teach questionable values and morals  _at all_."

"I suppose it's better than  _Beauty and the Beast_ ," Emma said with a smirk. "Can we say Stockholm Syndrome?"

Regina gave a little chuckle. "Still, that was the worst movie I have ever seen."

"Yeah, I didn't like it," Henry added from the comfort and security of his mother's arms. "Can we go to Granny's now?"

"Of course we may, Henry." The older woman dropped a kiss on the crown of his head. "Why don't you run upstairs and change into something more acceptable while we pick up?"

"You'll have to change, too," he protested lightly.

"Very true, but I also want you take a quick shower." She gave him a very motherly look. "I suspect you haven't had one today."

He started to protest but thought better of it. "Okay," he groaned as he slid from her arms and headed up the stairs.

They watched in silence as he begrudgingly left the room to go take a shower. It was Emma who broke the silence. "I'm sorry. I didn't think about this bringing up all this negative stuff."

"It's fine," Regina replied quietly while she began to gather their trash and dirty dishes. "He was eventually going to watch it, and I'm actually happy that he watched it  _with_ me as opposed to on his own where I couldn't at least be there if he had questions."

The younger woman straightened the sofa up, folding the throw blanket and arranging the pillows back into order. "It's still hard for me to believe it, you know? There are times when I just sit and stare at the wall while my brain tries to process everything. Sometimes, it's just," she shook her head as she finished her part of the pickup process. "It's just  _too_ much."

"I understand," the other woman replied while they made their way to the kitchen, "but at least it's in the past."

"Which I'm eternally grateful for." Emma waited for Regina to put things away before stepping up, turning the brunette to face her, and wrapping her arms around the smaller woman. "Know what else I'm thankful for?"

Regina gave a hum in reply.

"Finding my parents, my friends, my job, Henry, my life," the blonde leaned closer to Regina. " _You_ ," she whispered before kissing the other woman.

"And for  _that_ ," the brunette answered when they finally pulled away, " _I_ am eternally grateful."

A dopey grin spread across Emma's face. "I'm glad I found you," she said with just a hint of irony in her voice.

"Don't push your luck, Ms. Swan," Regina said as she good humoredly pressed a hand to Emma's shoulder to try to break her hold. "Let's get changed. I want to get to the diner before the next major rush hits."

The younger woman pretended to pout. "Aww, not even one little 'I will always find you?"

The older woman took in a deep, calming breath. "You  _want_  to sleep on the couch tonight, don't you?"

The blonde laughed. "Fine, fine, but I'm going to get you to say it just once. Mark my words, it's going to happen."

"I doubt it, but you may always try," Regina said with a chuckle. "Come on." She tugged at the other woman's arm.

Emma grunted. "I'm coming… I'm coming…"

**Author's Note:**

> Hope that wasn't too long! Had a blast writing this. Reviews are always welcomed. They keep us fic writers doing what we do.


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